Dead End: Ch. 7 Loss

"Stella, Lucretia. Lucretia, Stella."
Stella's eyes were glued to the woman. Her skin was whiter than Cael's and she watched her bony fingers pick a biscuit from her plate. She daintily nibbled the edge and put it back.
"So... what do you want from me?" she asked in a ghostly tone. Stella seeked warmth in her features, wanting encouragement. Lucretia's poker-face made her uncomfortable. This foreign interaction stopped time, as Lucretia's soulless eyes stared into her and Rochelia barely moved. Somewhere, a patron rustled their newspaper and the coffee machine stirred to life.
"I need to speak to your sister," said Stella, relying on thoughts of Beliah.
"Lucithia? I could've brought her," she turned her head to Rochelia in a strange, oscillating manner. "Why didn't you say?"
"You know why," Rochelia told her with a meaningful glare. Lucretia sank back into her armchair.
"Does she know where Beliah is?"
"Who?"
"My friend, Beliah. Your sister went looking for her a month ago."
"You mustn't interfere with my sister's business," Lucretia said severely. She remained small and she hugged herself, but her eyes lit up with warning.
"Beliah's disappearance isn't 'business.' It's serious," Stella replied.
"No, no!" she suddenly exclaimed, unravelling her arms and swiping the air in front of her. The cat-like sound and disturbing motion startled Stella. The eyes of the patrons and the baristas soon fell on all three of them. Rochelia leant forward secretively.
"Calm down, calm down..." she whispered. Her soothing tones almost sent Lucretia to sleep, as her eyes fluttered and she rocked back and forth. Stella dug her fingernails into her palms.
"Lucithia will hurt you."
"Just tell us where she is. We won't interfere," Rochelia assured quietly. Stella's mouth fell open. Her mind was in two places- escape danger or run to it, for Beliah's sake. Instinct versus her duty.
"Outside of Dead Drop."
"Where?" Stella insisted.
"Through the tunnel," she whimpered, "towards our house. Small house."
"Okay, good. Thank you," Rochelia said, as if addressing a four year old. "We'll leave you be then," and she stood up. Stella did the same, but then wondered why. Lucretia also looked somewhat dissatisfied.


After exchanging an awkward goodbye, Rochelia and Stella went outside.
"Well that was useless."
"You got what you wanted, didn't you?" the blonde asked, frowning.
"No, I didn't. She barely told me anything. She couldn't even tell me where her psycho-sister lives properly."
"Hey, you saw how she got. She's unstable, Stella. You of all people should understand that."
"Don't give me that! You think I'm gonna go soft on her? My friend is missing and I have no idea what state she's in," Stella shouted, her voice carrying up in between the buildings. Her outburst surprised Rochelia.
"Well, you can go to Lucithia now and see what she wanted."
"Yeah, another wild goose chase!" Stella threw up her arms and stormed down the street, towards the square.
"Don't lose hope. And you better take your friend with you again, when you go see her," Rochelia advised. Stella turned.
"I'll bring the whole police department, if it means finding Bel."
Suddenly, she was distracted as Lucretia exited the Red Herring and scampered away. Stella started after her but Rochelia grabbed the back of her jacket.
"Don't," she warned.
"No, Lucretia, come back here. I need to find her!" Stella yelled, jerking back as Rochelia pulled on her arm. The nurse's lip trembled and suddenly she was crying.
"Quiet. Calm down," said Rochelia, glancing around the square warily.
"I need to find her," Stella repeated, bowing her head as fresh tears spilt down her cheeks.
"You will, you will."


Stella felt too embarrassed to remain around people, yet too emotional to return home. She didn't want Zashmar's sympathy. Slinking into the back streets of Dead End, Stella wandered like a ghost until she came to the bridge. Her eyes fell on the hospital in the short distance. She could go to work, apologise and get on with her day. Then Stella's thoughts followed her eyes. She could jump into oblivion and plunge into the sea below. She contemplated the feeling of weightlessness. The falling sensation she'd only ever experienced in dreams.
"Don't be stupid," she then muttered to herself, chasing away the shadow of defeat. Stella walked on. Veering off the road, she climbed down the embankment towards the rusting tramway; she glanced into the tunnel it snaked into. Stella sat down on the bank and picked at blades of grass.
An aching numbness in her haunch told her of the time she'd spent there. When Stella went home, Zash asked where she'd been and she gave a brief account of her day.
"So any more clues as to your friend's whereabouts?"
"Not really."
"Haven't the police found anything out?" he asked, sipping from a can of beer.
"No, which doesn't surprise me. That's why I'm the one visiting the psycho-sister, not them."
"The psycho-who?"
"This woman called Lucithia. Sounds like she belongs in the asylum. She was looking for Beliah a month ago and I managed to speak to her not-so-saner sister today."
"You won't go alone though," Zashmar stated seriously.
"No, no of course not. I'll bring Cael maybe, or-"
"Cael?" Zashmar snickered. "He's a bit-"
"A bit what?"
"Well, you know... weedy-looking."
"Just because he's not as tall as you, it doesn't make him weak," Stella said defensively.
"Look, I just want you to be safe."
"Fine! I'll bring Harley. He's a guard at the asylum; just as tall as you and much more muscly. Does that suit you?" she said, hands on hips. Zashmar looked taken back and his hesitation caused Stella to nod; closing the conversation altogether.


It was nearly a week since Beliah had gone missing. Stella splashed cold water up her face, again having to tolerate the motel's deficiency. Rubbing a towel against her face, Stella smelt the familiar scent of shampoo.
"Zash!" she cried, astonished by his sudden presence.
"Sorry, I didn't know you woke up this early."
"You never wake up early?"
"I do normally. I just haven't lately because..." but he was unable to provide an explanation.
"Well I got work," Stella said, hanging up the towel and brushing pass Zashmar with pajamas in hand.
"Are we going to your friend's party on Saturday?" he called.
"Yeah," she replied, "well I am. You don't have to."
"Cool. I'm gonna have to find myself a nice shirt then."
"It's just a piss-up, really," Stella said frankly from the other room.
"I know, but I like to look good anyway," he smirked, "so I'll probably go to Hathian tomorrow. They got a good shopping area there. D'ya wanna come?"
"And fancy things I can't afford? No thanks."
"Oh come on, you're not that destitute!" Zashmar guffawed.
"Destitute enough," she replied sarcastically.
"I'll buy you something then. My treat."
"First Jubi saying I can furnish my room, now you offering me to come shopping," she laughed, slipping her trainers on, "everyone's trying to tempt me lately!"
"No really, I will. You deserve something nice, Stell."
"Firstly," she began, "I'm not gone-off bread. And secondly, it's fine, really. I got work tomorrow anyway. But thanks, Zashmar," she smiled, then grabbed her jacket and went out the door.


"You're fired, Stella," said Callista, chief of staff at the memorial hospital.
"Wha-"
"You didn't show up for work yesterday," she frowned, standing there in her black, smart clothes.
"But I... You can't fire me! The hospital's already understaffed," Stella argued.
"You should've thought of that when you couldn't be bothered to turn up then."
Stella's mouth hung open. Callista rolled her eyes and sauntered out of the lobby. Where had Victoria been? She couldn't let her down like this.
"Wait! It won't happen again, I promise."
"People's lives can't rely on flimsy promises, Miss Davis," she said fiercely, turning to her so that the two women were within inches of one another, "now I must ask you to leave the premises."
"The premises!" Stella said bitterly. An asylum guard came charging down, filling up the corridor. Callista waved her hand dismissively and walked away, whilst Stella found herself being abruptly lifted, then dumped at the foot of the steps outside the hospital. Burning with rage, Stella shouted after him.
"I'll be calling the cops unless you leave immediately."
"Oh I'm leaving. Just wait until I tell Harley about you, you thug!" she cursed angrily, slowly moving up the steps. Stella charged down the road but then hesitated, beholding the bridge which led into the heart of the city. No, she wouldn't go that way, not in this state. She snarled and spun on her heels. The former nurse stormed down the grassy embankment. Her anger swelled even more when she thought of the peace she felt here just yesterday. Responding to this mockery, Stella began tearing at the grass as if it were Callista's, Lucretia's... or Victoria's hair. Seizing handfuls, she unearthed them ferociously until the bones in her fingers cramped.


After tearfully reflecting on such events, the head overuled the heart and Stella nibbled her lip. How could she live now, without a job? She had been surviving as a nurse, but it was better paid than most jobs in the city and the job centre was burnt to a crisp now. How convenient, Stella thought. She would have to write to her parents and ask for money. She detested the idea and then herself, for not contacting home more. Avoiding the motel once again, Stella followed the narrow lane which ran down near the hospital, zig-zagging towards Dead Drop.


Dark rumours surrounded the New Horizons bookstore, but it failed to unnerve Stella. Most places in Dead End were shrouded in something unpleasant, whether it be a disturbing past or funny smell. However New Horizons was situated just round the corner from Beliah's house; a cruel reminder. Stella didn't turn her head when she approached.
Stella wandered and weaved through the library, apparently choosing a work of fiction. In reality, she was choosing her own words. Slowly, the ex-nurse wandered between two large book shelves as if in a maze. Her gaze trailed along numerous spines, each bearing some sensational title with the author's name alongside it, begging for attention. The books were lined up like teeth, with various gaps and slits in between.
Suddenly, Stella's eye caught something pass behind the book shelf. Quick and fleeting, like a shadow. She continued on, eyes curious whilst the form passed along with her on the other side. Then Stella halted. She ducked down and peered under the book shelf. A pair of feet had paused uncertainly. Her mouth fell open. She recognised those tattered converse shoes...
"I knew it!" exclaimed Stella, hurrying around the corner. Cael gasped in surprise, followed by a harsh shushing from the librarian.
"Honestly, I wasn't stalking you or anything," he whispered, stepping out of the librarian's sights. "You were being followed."
"What?" Stella half-laughed and looked about the book shelves, eyeing the spaces in between.
"I really think so," Cael began seriously. "I was coming into Dead Drop, you know through the tunnel, and I saw you walk pass then seconds later, a woman went by, hiding behind the trees and stopping every now and then. She looked really suspicious."
"Are you sure?" Stella said doubtfully.
"Yes, honestly. I followed and saw you come in here and then she did too. I thought I had her a moment ago but it was you."
"Try not to sound disappointed."
"I'm being serious, Stella! Didn't you see her?"
"No, I didn't."
"Maybe she's still here," Cael said warily, straying from Stella's side to snoop around.
"I don't know. I'm gonna go sit down. Maybe she'll show up then," she said. Stella sat at a table after blindly choosing a book from the shelf. Cael took a seat opposite her. Nothing was said. She pushed her novel aside and scratched the tip of the byro along the lined paper.
"What're you writing?" he asked, attempting a cheerful tone but the way he kept craning his neck around betrayed him. It unsettled her and she struggled to concentrate.
"A letter to my parents," she replied gloomily.
"Oh? You've never really mentioned your parents," Cael said pointedly though without prying. He picked up the novel Stella had pushed aside and leafed through it. She was just glad he hadn't asked why. But then he asked her when she'd next be working.
"... I won't be coming in again, Cael."
"Huh, why not?" he asked, still peering into the novel quizzically.
"I was fired today," Stella admitted. Cael lowered the book, revealing a flabbergasted countenance.
"You're joking."
"Nope."
"Why?" he frowned. His sweeping fringe couldn't conceal his expressive eyes.
"So who was this woman following me?" Stella asked divertingly. Her own blue orbs stared down at the unfinished letter.
"You can't just change the subject like that," Cael said in disbelief.
"Yes I can," she replied curtly. Her mouth twitched with emotion. Cael's face softened.
"Oh, Stell. Don't cry," he said quietly, extending his arm across the table to pat her arm. But she straightened in her chair, fiercely chasing away the tears. Cael awkwardly retreated.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," and with that, Stella resumed writing. Cael watched her stiffly. Her hand shook as it moved across the sheet of paper, while his mind explored various possibilities. Why on earth would Stella get fired? She was a good nurse.

After a short while, Stella finished writing.
"You posting it down the road?" Cael asked lightly.
"Yeah."
"I'll come with you."